Punishment? Or child abuse? A lot of people these days look at it as child abuse. I, on the other hand, don't. Sure, I wouldn't use a wooden spoon like my mom used on us kids growing up, and I wouldn't spank bare bottom or until it left marks or anything like that. But a quick smack or two on the butt shouldn't be a big deal. (just my opinion)
The last couple of weeks it has been such a head ache to get Gabriel to take naps. For anyone else, he's an angel and lays right down and falls asleep almost instantly. For me, it's a FIGHT!! I would lay down with him, read him books (which is good and then when the book is done, the fight begins), sing to him, e.x.p.l.a.i.n to him that it's nap time and why we take naps and how much fun we'll have after naps and YADA YADA YADA! I've gotten so frustrated and tired of fighting with him, that my anger has almost gotten the best of me. I've done time outs (which I do just about 98% of the time for any kind of disciplinary action). It works a little...
I have spanked before and it would get the point across. Yesterday, I spanked him for fighting with me. I was so upset (at his nap time) that I spanked him, told him (ok, yelled at him) that it was time for his nap, and walked out of the room. Keep in mind that Angelina is crying because this is about the time she eats, too. That adds to the frustration. I feel like there's not enough of me to go around at the same time. Anyway, he sat there crying on his bed and then I heard silence. I thought, did he really fall asleep that quickly?? So I peaked my head in and he was on the floor playing with his toys. When he saw me, tears still flooded his eyes and he said the worst words I never thought would brake my heart. I never thought I'd hear them come out of my own kids mouth.
"Don't hit me mommy. Don't hit me."
The look on his face and the tone of his voice, in combination with what he said made me want to cry. I picked him up and told him that I loved him very much and was sorry for 'hitting' him. I then laid down with him and we gave each other kisses until he fell asleep. He woke up happy and told me that he had a good nap.
I don't think I'll be spanking anymore.
4 comments:
I feel the same about spanking, but I also saw that if I spanked that the kids would also hit eachother more. So I also see that Spanking mostly doesn't work. Or gives a bad example.
I started this with Rubio and have done this will all of my kid when they were 2years old. When they start yelling, screaming, or crying because they want something. I would take them by their hand and walk them to their room and say nothing, but when they get to their room say, "this is were you through your fit" I don't shut the door and I walk away. If they come out and they stop then I let them stay out, but if they are still at it then I take them back to their room.
Nap time, I put them down and put up a gate at their door or shut the door and walk a way. I let them cry, they will go to sleep or play in their room, it is my quite time.
Don't be upset ... he probably can feel your frustration so it makes him upset and it confused him why you spanked him. Just tell him why he got a slap on the bum. Anyways, when I nannied and it was a child's nap time I told him he can take a nap or read his books or play with his toys quietly but it's quiet time and he has to be quiet for 2 hours. He usually fell asleep but I would just put him in the room and shut the door. If he cried, I let him cry it out until eventually he slept. Love ya!!
We don't spank too often either...only to really get their attention mostly. Like when Zach chokes one of his sisters. Or, if we have CLEARLY told them that spanking will be the punishment for a certain action, I don't feel bad.
Good luck with the naps...I think most kids stop around 2 1/2. Not that you want to hear that, though. Besides, I think most kids go through a don't-want-to-nap stage...stick with it, and he'll realize that it's just the norm...like car seats, brushing teeth, etc.
I agree with Alli, spanking is ok, just not all the time. Use time outs, take away favorite toys, etc and then if it's absolutely needed, spank away!
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